Friday, February 10, 2006

Where are they now?

No doubt you've all been wondering, "what has he done since his riveting portrayal of Jacques Gasstove in the Annual Trent Christmas Play?" Well, here is the short answer: I've let it go to my head. Indeed, I've joined the ranks of The Very Blinginest.--Being the red-blooded subcompact-enthusiast that I am...I've aquired a vintage Festiva. Oh, yes-I have gone so far over the edge of stardom. I decided to post some photos of it-not to inspire jealousy, but to (quite likely) rouse the aficianado in all of you. So, if you will, please note the subtle, yet aggresive styling; the ruthless efficiency of space; the use of the highest-quality materials; and the harmony with which it was all brought together.

First I'd like to outline some of the high-end options...
Not only does it have rear defrost,
but also rear wiper, and-of course-rear washer fluid sprayer.


I know it's hard to capture in the photo, but,
YES, those are blue headlights.
(Which make such a smug look very excusable)

And what custom ride is complete without:
stickers advertising some special equipment
Not pictured items include: short throw shifter, new sport suspension,
sporty exhaust note, electric side mirrors--and the list goes on...


W.O.W.
My pride and joy:
Body color rims
(up-sized from 12's to 13's for that "pimped-out" look)

I've since added speakers that say "X-Bass" on them
the "X" probably is Roman for "Ten"
which would suggest that they are "maxed out".

I'll -most likely- be getting an ostrich-leather Recaro racing seat
(with the four point harness);
and I'm thinking about upgrading my brakes to 13 inch cross-drilled,
four-caliper Brembos;
and I already have a new clutch plate waiting for install -
on its box it specifies 'performance'
I'm toying with giving it some body mods, but I don't want to ruin
its raw, aggressive styling--I just can't decide if I should mess with
perfection.
So now you know what Jacques Gasstove has been up to!
And remember the tenth commandment:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ride.
-kmf